Becky Apples

Jeffica Becky Apples Ugh, Jeffica I bet Becky's got perfect hair Jeffica Jeffica's got stupid, stupid hooves Listen, I'm never gonna eat another apple ever again Ooh, it really bunches my wool to think how badly she hurt you Baby girl, tell me a story I left my Rider so that I could raise an army So that you could raise an army Then Sea Dog popped up and he said something alarming Ooh, what'd he say? He told me that my best friend's ridden (No) Another horse so pretty (No way!) And her name is Becky Apples Because, ugh, of course it is Becky Apples, Becky Apples What a gorgeous, fancy shmuck Becky, how you like them apples? 'Cause I think your apples suck Becky Apples, Becky Apples Guess what? I knew Rider first And while technically I don't know Becky I know she's the worst Ugh, she is so the worst horse Right? Ugh It's unbelievable Stupid Becky But can I tell you about someone who's Kind of a total Becky in my life? Uh, okay, I g— I mean, I'm kinda not done being mad about Becky Apples Well, I was flirtin', flirtin' with this slick mer-dude Eh, that was not the same situation He was the finest carny that I've ever pursued There was more than one? He played me like a ukulele He did? I don't want no drama, baby Do I? But I flipped when I found out his girlfriend was a llama lady Oh, that Jeffica, that Jeffica's got stupid, pretty legs And I bet that sunfish mer-guy would let her adopt his eggs Jeffica, Jeffica, Jeffica, Jeffica Ugh, even her wool is perkier Maybe Jeffica's flirty boyfriend is the one who's the actual jerk here Ooh, Jeffica, making me feel bad about projecting my own insecurities And displacing blame on her when she really did nothing wrong Ugh, she's the worst Ahem Oh, right, you're sad I feel your pain, girl, I'm your Vindicator And we don't know Jeffica, Becky We just know we hate her This isn't okay and this isn't fine Let it out, baby girl It's just I thought Rider would always be mine