Avoiding Attachment

Everyone I've ever loved has liked me more than I've liked them I'm never sure of what I want And I think it might be happening again We're in my car, I wanna kiss you But I feel like I could throw up I just met you and I'm already imagining our breakup Maybe in another life I got a dad who liked me Maybe in another life my mom was stable and healthy But here I am, traumatized Fucking this up, wasting your time Afraid of what would happen if I stopped avoiding attachment I want attention without commitment I wanna hold you from arms length So when you asked me what I wanted I almost lost it 'cause how do I say You could give me space You could be picture perfect, so well paced And I would still find any reason to break it off, to push you away Maybe in another life I got a dad who liked me Maybe in another life my mom was stable and healthy But here I am, traumatized Fucking this up, wasting your time Afraid of what would happen if I stopped avoiding attachment You ask me if I feel safe, before you try to touch me If I really let you see me If I really let you love me Would you hurt me worse than I could? Would the intimacy kill me? Would I finally find my equal? Would you be the one to leave me? Maybe I could stick around when you say that you like me Maybe I could love someone who's stable and healthy But here I am, traumatized Fucking this up, wasting your time While wondering what would happen if I stoped avoiding attachment