Bonfire (Skit)

Do you remember, ah, when we fell in love? (Oh my fucking-) We were nice and innocent then (oh, my God, shut up!) C'mon nigga, sing, sing with me, man Do you remember? (No! Shut up, nigga, Jesus Christ) Are you serious? Are you serious? Because the last time I checked, you just told me you fucked my bitch You expect me to be happy with you right now? Nigga, I should be mad at you, nigga If anything, I ain't seen one stench of pussy Since we got to this planet, nigga (get the fuck outta here, man) What? What happened to the brochure, nigga? (I mean, I-) I ain't seen shit! So shut the fuck up (I felt) And sing this motherfuckin' song (I'm not singing this shit) Do you remember, ah, when we- (shut up, shh! Shut up! What's that?) Oh, shit Who's there? (Fuck! Fuck! Nigga, what do we do?) Who's in my motherf- Who is that? (Why you ain't tell me this somebody backyard?) I ain't know, what the fuck we gon' do? Shut up, I got this, I've been watching movies (you sure?) Nice, trust me Oh, shit (what's up man? Ay, ay, how you doing, sir? Nice to meet you) How you doing, sir? Uh- Oh, God! Shit! Damn! Hey, you almost shot us! What you motherfuckers doing in my backyard? Sir, just put the gun down, man, we didn't know it was your backyard, man Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow yo' motherfucking head off A'ight look, I know it's gonna sound crazy (shut your-) Leave my lawn (don't say it, don't say it, nigga) But we're not human (aw) What? Not human? (Shit! You fucked us up) No! No! No! No! No! A-a'ight, sir, sir, sir I don't wanna hear that shit A'ight, we homeless (come on, man) We have nowhere to go I don't even know why in the hell-, please sir (shut up!) A'ight? (Shit!) We just happened to be in your yard (hm) Please, cut us some slack, man Shut up! Man, you two motherfuckers are in the wrong place (I understand) At the wrong goddamn time (I know) At the wrong hour (please, I know) Wearing the wrong shit! (Shit! It's his fault, please) But you know what? (What, sir?) I ain't gon' kill ya (word, you're not?) You two youngsters sit down And have a seat (a'ight, ah, shit, sit yo' ass down, man) Thank you, thank you sir Don't give me that, "Thank you" shit Sit yo' ass down (yeah, you sound like a bitch, man) Now, I'm guessing y'all ain't never heard the story of Ross Capicchioni, huh? Ross (Cappuccino?) Cappachin? (Cappucciño?) Cappachini? Nigga, I said Ross Capicchioni! (Capicchi-, a'ight, Capicchioni!) Well, it all happened on one Sunday afternoon, early