Robert Ford (Sloth)

I trust you all recall the fall of the outlaw, Jesse James Shot down in his prime by a slime of the times, a member of his gang A million reasons to curse the villain Robert Ford by name, Bob!?! Let's start with eight indictments for hate, to boo and hiss that pitiful priss The toad, the odious slug, the gnat Robert Ford, you dirty rat! The man who should be known for nothing at all Scoundrels and petticoats, vamps and gents The Robber State’s surely ashamed to present These eight disgraceful turns in events When we count the numbers, you boo and hiss Don't be lateful, and do not miss One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight (One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight) Boo (boo) hiss (hiss) The dope, the mope, the slow-to-the-count Robert Ford, you no-account! The man who should be known for nothing at all With dynamite sticks, they boarded the freight "Your money on three, or we detonate!" Tangled in fuses, Bob counted to eight One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight (One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight) (Boo! Hiss!) The dumb, the dimly-lit, flimsy lamp Robert Ford, your wick is damp! The man who should be known for nothing at all They went on the run from Timberlake's force Rode backwards ten paces to throw them off course Bob took seven steps, and fell off his horse One, two, three, four, five, six, seven- woop! (One, two, three, four, five, six, seven) (Boo! Hiss! Clop-clop-clop!) The glop, the cloppity also ran Robert Ford, you one-horse man! The man who should be known for nothing at all In hiding, Wood went after Liddil Dick’s head Bob tripped on his pistol and shot Big Wood dead "Dig six feet?" Bob dug six inches instead One, two, three, four, five, six (One, two, three, four, five, six) (Boo! Hiss! Oh, come on! Get off the stage!) The sterile, half-barrel, low-strum drang Robert Ford, you little bang-bang! The man who should be known for nothing at all The vultures came cawin', old Ma James knew better But her one-armed shooin', no good whatsoever Bob shot but five birds, and napped on the feathers (Pew, pew! Pew! Pew!) One, two, three, four, five (One, two, three, four, five) (Boo! Hiss! Boo!) The chirp, the twerp, the pigeon-y sperm Robert Ford, you breakfast worm! The man who should be known for nothing at all Bob dreamt of sleeping on fat rewards Angel spurs warm milk and reclining boards He drooled and dribbled and four times snored Three, four (One, two, three, four) (Boo! Hiss! Boo!) The snooth, the baby-tooth, blanky-crumb Robert Ford, you nipple thumb! The man who should be known for nothing at all! Bob wired the Gov'nor by string and tin can "Three pardons and a cot to bring in your man But I need three days to sleep on this plan" One, two, three (One, two, three) (Boo! Jail him! Hiss!) The prattle-tail, tattle-tailed, squeakity throat Robert Ford, you Judas goat! The man who should be known for nothing at all Jesse was unarmed and down with the blues Bob had his gun resting next to his shoes He looked at them twice, then two times pressed snooze One, two (One, two) (Boo! Hiss!) The oaf, the loafering, tickless tock Robert Ford, you great-great-great-great grandmother clock! The man who should be known for nothing at all On the final day, Jesse went gray when he heard that fateful click To dust a plaque, he turned his back on that low-down Benedict Shot through the head, James fell dead like a toppled house of bricks His children were crying as Jesse lay dying One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, for fifteen minutes straight There's no debate, no cause not to hate The pimply-chinned, goofy-grinned, government toy Robert Ford, you little boy! The man who should be known for nothing at all So cheer the child who shot his friend I've heard it all, but your money spends I'll count to one One (Boo! Hiss!) And the show will end Aren't you a brave band of rebels who all think the same But I’m the man who shot Jesse James And you better not turn your back Bang! On the man who should be known for nothing at all