Tipping

One semester as a kid I worked for tips at Denny's Fresh and fruity fish and chips Busting ass for pennies Now I am embarking on A gratuity's guilt trip Trapped inside a restaurant Wondering what to tip I'm just a-tipping Sitting there but thinking 'bout tipping Tipping Worrying 'bout, worrying 'bout Five or ten percent's too cheap Even twenty percent's too steep Don't know how to get fifteen percent Should be on the receipt There's an ancient rule of thumb Passed down from my father Take one tenth of the billed sum Remove the decimal, less bother Take a half of that dividend And add the two together It's all too much to comprehend I'll be sitting here forever I'm just a-tipping Sitting there but thinking 'bout tipping Tipping Worrying 'bout, worrying 'bout Five or ten percent's too cheap Even twenty percent's too steep Don't know how to get fifteen percent Should be on the receipt Were they attentive enough? Maybe overly so Were they too loquacious? Or maybe just a little slow Did they leave me hanging? With a water glass too long empty Were they way too sanguine? Too obsequious for me? I must admit I'd rather get Service for a song But I'm thin-skinned and I may worry Will they talk about me when I'm gone? I'm just a-tipping Sitting there but thinking 'bout Sitting there thinking 'bout tipping Worrying 'bout, worrying 'bout Five or ten percent's too cheap Even twenty percent's too steep Don't know how to get fifteen percent Should be on the receipt I'm just a-tipping Tipping, tipping, tipping