Army

I should've known the first red flag was When you said you didn't like The Beatles And then the thirty-second words how the Things you loved were all a little bit illegal Can't believe when you left, I was sad My friends all say I dodged a bullet, but it's worse than that I dodged a year of bad text, you wishing I was your ex And waiting up for you to never call me Dodging emotional wreck, downplaying all my success Not even man enough to ever say sorry My friends say I dodged a bullet, but they don't even know it No, I dodged a whole damn army Life's been so much better now since you moved out, so sweet, no sour I ripped up all your shirts and took your Three-in-one and got it out of my shower Can't believe when you left, I was sad My friends all say I dodged a bullet, but it's worse than that I dodged a year of bad text, you wishing I was your ex And waiting up for you to never call me Dodging emotional wreck, downplaying all my success Not even man enough to ever say sorry My friends say I dodged a bullet, but they don't even know it No, I dodged a whole damn army I pledge allegiance to me, myself, and I Hope I don't see you in another life I pledge allegiance to me, myself, and I No, I don't need you, I'd rather die (I pledge allegiance to me, myself, and I) (I'd rather die) I dodged a year of bad text, you wishing I was your ex And waiting up for you to never call me Dodging emotional wreck, downplaying all my success Not even man enough to ever say sorry My friends say I dodged a bullet, but they don't even know it No, I dodged a whole damn army I should've known from your mullet, wasn't dodging a bullet No, I dodged a whole damn army