nothing changes if nothing changes

Lonely as I ever known Things been getting better though Should've grown Into the throne that I was shown But couldn't let it go Say it ain't so Not even safe inside the home I buried everyone I known Gone cold to the things I can't control Everyday been the same Anxiety been gettin old But got a hold everywhere I fuckin go Everywhere I fuckin go This ain't a place I wanna bring you Hold me while I breathe in Faces all been see through I been up to nothing new Nothing in my reason I might pop a few Just to feel nothing for a season Long live the memories Months go by like centuries Drain me of this energy Couldn't be a friend of me I'm the only enemy Speakin on it carefully You ain't really know me bitch I say that respectfully Missing old ways terribly My own mental scared of me Screamin through it endlessly Least I got some time to sleep Only time they leave me be Only time they leave me be This ain't for a weak But I don't think it's built for me Been years I should've peaked Personal critique Deaded all my self esteem I'm gettin used to the fatigue Don't even speak Unless you got the antidote inside ya teeth I been at it all my life Lookin like I never tried Couldn't bring me peace of mind Wondering why they let me die Scared of everything I hide Hate the way I been inside Swear I wanted better times Guess they on the other side Guess they on the other side Guess they on the other side I hope you never feel this pain I'm glad I'll never be the same It ain't you that's been the blame I'm the only reason shit don't ever change