Ambition

I spent my younger years and then some Trying to make a name for myself And only myself And even though I had more chances Than I surely deserved I always felt Cursed Or maybe, at least Forever downstream I questioned everything and everyone But I never interrogated My ambition My ambition Ambition, Where did you come from? Are you the natural result of a capitalist cult? Or just a boy's attempt to get his father's attention? Are you a bug or a feature Or a coping strategy That I no longer need Ambition, What did you take from me? All of those years that I spent selling T-shirts to friends I fostered competition over community Were those connections so deep? Do they know where I sleep? Do they care to spend time with my son? I was so trained on the future, plotting some kind of rise Left me lonely and anxious What a waste of my time I don't wanna stop dreaming but I want to be awake in that dream I don't wanna keep believing that my output is the measure of me I don't want to stop working but I want to work on just being still I don't wanna let the world burn down while I watch from a hill Ambition, I think I'm done with you I don't think I'm quite delivered yet But you've ridden me far enough, Yeah, I'm traveled-it's true I wanna be in this moment, I wanna be where I am I wanna love what I do, I wanna do what I can And when I start cutting back All your thorns and your brambles I find myself naked with only what matters: Service and awe, Laughter and wonder And the love of my son who will know he's enough I don't wanna stop dreaming but I want to be awake in that dream I don't wanna keep believing that my output is the measure of me I don't want to stop working but I want to work on just being still I don't wanna let the world burn down while I watch from the hill I don't wanna leave the present but I want to know the future is bright I don't wanna live forever but I want to keep this moment alive