PTSD

I am wide awake Staring at your face and I'm wondering if you're safe I'm wondering if it's fake And my heart is racing Afraid of what you hide (what you hide, what you hide) Afraid of ways you lie and Afraid of what I'll find Afraid I'll spend my life Crying when I'm smiling Can't tell if I love you Or I'm sleeping with the enemy Some days I can't tell my intuition from anxiety I'm too scared to tell you 'Cause what if you get fed up and leave? Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD PTSD, PTSD Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD PTSD, PTSD Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD I'm good, I'm good, okay? My armor's suffocating I guess it comes in waves I get used to the ache But it's asphyxiating Can't tell if I love you Or I'm sleeping with the enemy Some days I can't tell my intuition from anxiety I'm too scared to tell you 'Cause what if you get fed up and leave? Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD PTSD, PTSD Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD PTSD, PTSD Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD I'm just a sad girl stacking up my money I'm doing big things 'cause my mama didn't want me I try to be a saint, so I'm worthy of affection But I'm still afraid, 'cause love is a murder weapon Some days I get so damn lonely 'Cause everybody's fake (everybody's fake) I trust the only one who knows me 'Cause no one else feels safe PTSD, PTSD Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD PTSD, PTSD Some days I can't tell my paranoia from PTSD I'm just a sad girl stacking up my money I'm doing big things 'cause my mama didn't want me I try to be a saint, so I'm worthy of affection But I'm still afraid 'cause love is a murder weapon