Golf Again

I can't keep doin' this to myself I don't like who I've become This ain't good for my health And I feel so done I've quit a lot of vices, but I know that this one has to end I'm never frickin' playin' golf again I bought new irons about a week ago They fitted me good from my waist to my toes Why I'm still toppin' every ball, I do not know But I'm done trying' to figure it out I might drink (I might drink) And I might cuss (I might cuss) But I solemnly swear that I ain't gonna touch them clubs (Touch them clubs) I might smoke big ol' Stogies with all of my friends But I'm never frickin' playin' golf again A dude gave me a tip down at the pro shop Said, "keep your hip behind the ball when you're in the tee box" I tried it out, and after the fifth ball, I lost I kicked his ass on the turnaround I might drink (I might drink) And I might cuss (I might cuss) But I solemnly swear that I ain't gonna touch them clubs (Touch them clubs) I might smoke big ol' Stogies with all of my friends But I'm never frickin' playin' golf again Hole one Bogie! Hit it in the trees Hole two Chucked it and it rolled in the creek Hole three Hey boys, why don't we just leave I won't be getting better any time soon Hole four I'm back! Put me down for par Hole five I didn't know I could hit it that far! I got a need to chill Boys, this is it Damn, a birdie sure would be great Four puts later put me down for an eight I might drink (I might drink) And I might cuss (I might cuss) But I solemnly swear I ain't gonna touch them clubs (Touch them clubs) Well, I might smoke big ol' Stogies with all of my friends But I'm never frickin' playin' Why do I keep playin'? Here I am frickin' playin' golf again Thousand-dollar golf clubs Lesson every week I need to shoot a hundred and forty Ra-da-da-da-da-da-da