Fear

14 when I hit the blunt I was hanging with the big dogs just a runt I was trying to stunt man didn't want to confront My thoughts were all guided by the devil I shunned 16 couldn't feel my hands On my bike riding home couldn't understand Man this thing I call myself is sinking in quicksand Think I'm starting to lose my shit man 18 face paralysed Guess that I shouldn't act that surprised I have learnt to avoid looking in my eyes Who this dude in the mirror I don't recognise 24 and it's still the same Thinking of new ways to numb the pain Any day could be my endgame Dread is part of my membrane I can't feel my hands can't feel my face I keep hoping for some better days Medicated I fucked up my brains Baby would you please just share my pain It's crazy I can't feel my hands can't feel my face I keep hoping for some better days Medicated I fucked up my brains Baby would you please just share my pain Share my pain Looking for them better days We was at the park like everyday and all we did was smoke Laughing at my pain like everyday 'cause life's a fucking joke Buying weed and such from cousin — even though I'm broke Drown in pools of liquor I could never ever sip it slow Tell me why the summer feeling like the coldest season Fucking demons fucking with me for no fucking reason No inspiration so I told my dogs I'm fucking leaving I love you niggas but I'm sorry yo I'm fucking leaving Big black cloud hanging over me I maintain anxiety Try to fix it abstain sobriety Need to kill off a demon that's inside of me Shouldn't tell mum She'll be worried 'bout what I've become Keep it buried inside me I run Getting worried it's how it'll be Vision blurry I lost track of me She truly knew me has gone She could soothe me I try to hang on But it's hard to reflect when you're scared of yourself Alone isolated in need of some help Man I've been feeling this way Shit I've been running away Keeping my demons at bay Dealing with this for the longest I love you but no I can't stay I can't feel my hands can't feel my face I keep hoping for some better days Medicated I fucked up my brains Baby would you please just share my pain It's crazy I can't feel my hands can't feel my face I keep hoping for some better days Medicated I fucked up my brains Baby would you please just share my pain Should probably leave the house haven't been outside for days And I know that you mean well but now I really need my space Need to pick myself up again get back to my old ways Always Should probably call you promised to keep you up to date But it's hard to explain it I fear that you just won't relate Wish I could go back want to undo all my mistakes Too late I can't feel my hands can't feel my face I keep hoping for some better days Medicated I fucked up my brains Baby would you please just share my pain Let's go let's go Better days I be looking for them better days