Disassociate

You said that you would be here by my side and I believed it Told you if you leave then I'll be fine, like I don't need you Built a life without you, then you left it all in pieces Now it's gettin' hard to do the normal things like sleep and eat And even though I got a heart, it's barely beatin' in my chest Never trade it for moment back before we even met And tell myself with what I'm knowin' now I should've never let you be a crutch For all the trauma manufactured in my head And I'm back home now but I've been gone for three weeks I don't even talk to the ones I like Got a voice in my head, just a bit too high Tellin' me I'll never get shit right It's like, if the pressure gettin' too much to take, I disassociate Lookin' at the actions I make, it's just a role to play Try to be the person you want, but I can't hold the weight Carve a smile right in my face, I'll let you hold the blade And you pull me under I can feel you in me Do you ever wonder If I'm done I'm walking in the storm but there's nothing left to find Yeah a broken heart doesn't hurt when you die Hard to move ahead when you're stuck in your eyes Keep on looking beyond, beyond, beyond But everybody's gone and there's nothin' left to say You can be the last in my line of mistakes Tell me if we did what we said, we would change What would life be like, be like, be like, be like, be like (What would life be like) (What would life be like) (What would life be like) You said that you would be here by my side and I believed it Told you if you leave then I'll be fine, like I don't need you Try to prove it right, but you just left me all in pieces Now it's getting hard to do the normal shit, like even breathin' And even though I got a heart, it's barely beatin' in my chest And I don't think you even gave a chance to see my best When you don't know yourself, you find it's normal feelin' less And that's a narrative you built upon the comfort and the stress What I hope to be, therapists and friends tryin' to open me Look at me, unhappy, like it's something that I chose to be Counting on a fairy tale story that you sold to me Took me finally being alone to see That I can't count on anyone that I love And you act proud, that's the way that you know You come back 'round, and I trust you again I'ma back down, at the hole in my chest (yeah) And you pull me under I can feel you in me Do you ever wonder If I'm done I'm walking in the storm but there's nothing left to find Yeah a broken heart doesn't hurt when you die Hard to move ahead when you're stuck in your eyes Keep on looking beyond, beyond, beyond But everybody's gone and there's nothin' left to say You can be the last in my line of mistakes Tell me if we did what we said, we would change What would life be like, be like, be like, be like, be like (What would life be like) (What would life be like) (What would life be like) (be like, be like, be like, be like) (be like, be like, be like, be like)